The Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "It's my nature..."

-Aesop's Fables

A Perfect Friend

A perfect friend...

Will be there for me every time I need them
Will answer the phone every time I call
Would never argue with me
Would never get mad at me
Could never get hurt by something I said
Always be willing to do whatever I want to do
Likes all the same people I like
Dislikes all the same people I dislike
Always agrees with what I have to say
Never gets offended
Forgives me instantly
Realizes I am always right and they are always wrong
And never gets their feelings hurt by something I've done

A perfect friend...
I'm glad I don't have